Bloomin' Haight

During one of the breaks from the San Francisco Ghost Hunter Society's lecture, I took a walk up to Haight Street, and on the way to a very cool store called Reincarnation I ran into a beautiful container garden on the sidewalk. This is a shot of one of the vibrant flowers adorning the neighborhood. Flower Power indeed!

What I Want from my IT Department

I want you to stop with your double talk tech bullshit like "Did you make sure you're using the DHCP server and that the subnet mask is 345.456.678.90? Because if it isn't then the IPv9 can't be configured." What? What? What? Look, I don't expect YOU to know how to run a PubMed search, find the PMCID number (or if it's not there, request it from the NIH) and create an EndNote library from the information gathered. So don't expect me to shout "EUREKA! You were so fucking helpful, why didn't I think of that?" (Helpful Hint: Please visualize Lewis Black, finger pointing in frustration, head almost exploding due to the mind numbing tech head games.)

I want you to take responsibility for my problem and the subsequent resolution and not pass me from one IT person to the next while trying desperately to remain anonymous. It wasn't cute when I asked (via email because heaven forbid I have the honor of talking to anyone of you live) "Who am I emailing with?" and the response was "The (no) HelpDesk - smiley face." Oh no, you didn't just end your smartass email with an effin-smiley-effin-face!

I want you to say “You know? I don’t know how to solve that but let me do some research and I’ll get back to you.” Not say “Turn off your computer for 30 seconds and restart it, if that doesn’t work get back to me.” Only I can’t because I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU DICK!

I want you to be able to support the software that the company has approved for use and not send me outside Internet links that you’ve come across only seconds earlier as a direct result of my question. Sending me outside Internet links to fix a problem you have no idea how to is not a valid or helpful solution because I can easily Google “How do I fix this shit?”

I want you to understand why I lose my mind on hold after being shuffled from person to person, I want some empathy when I start foaming at the mouth because multiple tech people refuse to take on a sense of urgency when it comes to my asking for help. I want you to have a thicker skin when I crumble and call one of you on the carpet instead of becoming effin offended at my indignant email finger pointing. But NOOOOO, I have to apologize for being angry at your lack of support, for your anonymous abuse, for your heavy breathing over the phone (on the rare occasion I get one of you on the damn phone) and for expecting decent service from the department that works for the same goddamn company I do. I mean it’s not like these are faceless people, I do see them huddled in their dark offices, monitors emitting an incessant blue glow, Red Bull ivs hooked up to cringingly pale arms, bizarre mobiles dancing overhead, geek conversion chart tacked to the wall…and a name tag that reads “HelpDesk, smiley face.”